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Monday, February 15, 2010
Open my window, sing me a song. Baby can't you see that this is where I belong With your hand in my hand, still feel feel the love Really wish that we could go back to the way that it was.  Happy Chinese New Year & Happy Valentines Day. Double the festive joy for some. This year my Valentines would be the ang baos I'm getting. With the ang baos, I'll save up and get myself new loves (Doc Marts, jeans & perhaps an itouch). I am not in the lovey dovey mood this year, so Valentines shall be about me, me and me. Oh & Chinese New Year too. Chinese New Year is strangely different. Por por's house as usual. The atmosphere just isn't there. No lion dance music in the background this year. Just the tv and chit chats. Maybe it's because us kids have grown up? Elizabeth sure has grown up. She's so pretty now. Why is it that all my cousins on the Chinese side look pretty and are skinny? Qing is getting married at the end of the year. She's been with her bf for 10 years now. Which leads me to wonder if I'll ever get married... The two little boys have grown up. So big already. Then again, my brother and I have grown up too... As usual, since my family is the only one who can eat HALAL. We were forced to eat Pizza hut. Not complaining about it since I love pizza. The only thing about this year is... Instead of either heading to IMM or straight home, we went to an empty Jurong Point. Thought that maybe a couple of stores would be open but sadly this ain't Christmas. Most stores were close. Thank god for World Of Sports. Mother has been forcing me to buy a new pair of sneakers since my grey converse shoes are worn out. That was when I saw KEDS. Plimsolls. (:  She bought it for me since I told her I wanted vans. She told me to just get it and she paid. Or rather, my dad paid. By the way, the picture was taken off the Keds website. Well. The tiger year is supposedly a good year for love in the case of a sheep I guess. Strangely, it falls on Valentines Day. How perfect. Okay then. I'll spare you the drama of how tragic Valentines Day is to me. My life is already filled with enough, don't need today or any other day to affect it. In fact, I doubt I'll ever be spared from this drama because from what I see and know, things are getting pretty interesting. Caught up in the middle, just as always huh Aishah? Doesn't matter whether you're involved or not, there's always bound to be someone involved that you know. If that's not enough, look at how f-ed up your love life is. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not envious of couples who have long relationships. I'm not going to pretend that I feel really lonely sometimes. I'm not. I'm just saying I don't like Valentines Day because it brings back memories and I don't like it one bit. There are some things I regret and there are some things I don't wish to remember because they'll only force my heart to break even more. There are people I miss and there are some who continue to scar my heart. I'll never say who these people are but it's so obvious especially if you know me. Yes. I miss you and you. Although it's really complicated, this story. Because if it wasnt for you hurting me. I would never have tried to escape reality and met him. He was the one who healed part of this heart but unfortunately, he broke it too. And the relationships in this story is pretty messy. Hell, if it were a book, I bet somebody would make it into a drama Although I should just step away from this story because it would never have a happy ending with either of them. Damn it. This sucks big time. Yeah, I'm not good with goodbyes. Well, I'm still a kid who depends a lot on herself so I don't think I would be disappointed. With experience, I taught myself to be strong. I learnt from experience that the best person to trust is yourself. And from all the days that I've spent being hurt, I've learnt that the two things precious to me are my hair and my pillow because when you've got no one to turn to, they're always there. Reality is pretty sucky sometimes, so it's good I have myself. And it's a good thing I can stand on my own two feet because when people leave, I can always stand on my own. Gosh I wish you knew. Sweet sunday morning, all by myself.
Hard love what we've done, when with anyone else. Watch my mascara dripping down. Baby how did we end up like this? Where are you now? |
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 ______ 07 August 1991 RP DCID CCC drama single & unavailable ♥ music, fashion, writing, books, dr.martens, hello kitty, katy perry, anime, blueberries, parties, shoes, roses, movies, eyes set to kill, nail polish, bangles, leather, autumn, blythedolls, devil wears prada, pink, studs, chiaki kuriyama, alesana, bangs, cotton candy, diaries, B&J ice-cream Facebook Twitter Tumblr Livejournal Formspring
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